I’m in limbo right now, I think it’s that feeling empty and feeling everything all at once – There seems to be no in between.
Having to start from the beginning and work my way back up has been hard – but it made me realise that realistically, it’s actually never too late to start again or rebrand yourself and most of all, there’s nothing wrong in doing so. The transition between Rae Poet and Rae Levine, has been extremely difficult and i’ve encountered many trying times, however it’s given me the chance to really be me and explore my talents, rather than being stuck in a box. I understand that, yes… I did a lot when I was Rae Poet, but it’s time to do bigger and better things as Rae Levine and show the world the vision that I have.
At times, I get discouraged and seem to dim my own light – Something I’m working on, I swear! I think it’s the comparison between who I once was and who I am now. I have to step back at times and give myself that pep talk and remind myself of how far I’ve come, how hard I have worked and just reassure myself “Rae, you can do this. You’re being too hard on yourself – take it step by step, it’s a new chapter and you’re not that person anymore.” and that almost gives me balance again.
The worst events that happen in life can change so much for you, it can change your perspective on your life and even relationships or friendships you have with those around you. It’s a constant battle that I have with myself! Sometimes, I look back and think “what if that never happened..where would I be?” or “Why didn’t this person stay around?” But then, I remember everything happens for a reason and sometimes, it’s better I don’t know the reason because the place I’m at right now, is where I’m supposed to be.
Nothing ever happens before it’s time.
Positive energies matter, the ability to tell your brain and your heart – “I won’t stay down today. I am and I will be happy today.” It’s hard, especially when people only see the surface. it’s almost like, you have to tell yourself to try not too focus on that – you see your vision, you know what you’re doing and you see your end destination and that’s all that matters.
Life is full of tests. Full of obstacles and full of trials and tribulations but after the storm, comes a calm. In this life, you either win or you learn – there is no loosing and this is something I only recently came to terms with, you learn from every mistake or decision you’ve made, you learn. you NEVER ever lose. We have to keep going, I mean… no one else is gonna win for you, me, her, or him. We have to do it ourselves. I’m still learning, growing & understanding things about my creativity more and more everyday.
Remember… the process is hard, but the destination is greater!