the breathing room: my mental health

These three words “how are you?” can go a long way. Depression, Anxiety, Paranoia these are all topics that make many feel uncomfortable so they push it to the side as if it doesn’t exist. I’ve been quiet about this topic and my experience with suffering with anxiety and depression up until now, after months of isolation, counselling meetings, prayers and antidepressants, I came to realise that this is something that needs to be addressed, it’s not a ‘phase’ or something I can just ‘get over.’ 

Me? Depressed? That could never be me. I was very in denial about this. I originally wrote the piece ‘The Breathing Room’ as a venting piece, something I kept to myself and never showed anyone. Using my spoken word as an outlet, this enabled me to let it out and be able to hopefully help and encourage other people who might have been feeling any of the above or all of them.

Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Well… that was me, I used my facade as a coping mechanism, after all…. I’m ‘Rae Poet/Rae Levine’ nobody expects me to have these problems. Going through this, I realized that we all wear masks, I wore a different one everyday depending on who I was around and what I wanted people to see.

I ask a question… Are you wearing a mask? Are you making everyone believe you’re okay but inside you’re feeling trapped?

I’m not saying it’s not a battle, but its one that can be won. The first step is when you’re asked those three words “How are you?” you can be bold enough to say these three words… “I’m not okay.” Don’t let your coping mechanism be the thing that holds you back.

There’s a reason I’m able to sit here and share my experience with you, as I know I’m not the only one who is or has gone through this, I know it takes courage to reach out or even finding the right person to reach out too, but there is strength in saying “I need help.” So I do hope after reading this, you can dig deep within yourself and find the strength and courage to ask for what it is that you need.

Do not be ashamed, for it is nothing to be ashamed about. It’s nothing to feel guilty about, this needs to be talked about as it’s all part of the healing process.

I am currently healing and taking it day by day.

You can listen to my poem: The Breathing Room here > http://www.soundcloud.com/raelevine/the-breathing-room

I am currently healing and taking it day by day.

Love,

R

xox

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